Rainbow of Life: August 2009

My dear husband is on reservist AGAIN!!! ARGH…….

Tonight is his first night duty and so Jae and I are staying over at my mum place…

AND I can’t get to sleep man… Its hot and stuffy in this miserable 3 room flat with 6 adults (my nieces are staying over as well!!!) and 1 kid. Crazy huh? Yah… why did I even leave my 4 room flat empty at Punggol to squeeze here? Even Jaelyn woke up crying countless times already (but she sleep through peacefully at home)… I have decided we are all going home tomorrow and I think I can really handle a kid on my own.

Some thoughts going through my mind and I guess it really boils down to the “leaving and cleaving” issue that I really have to deal with.

Ever since Jaelyn was born, we were quite dependent on my mum, or rather, she insisted that she wanted to look after Jaelyn. So since 2.5months, we have been sheltering her from Punggol to Geylang Bahru and back home everyday on CABS!!! This was not our initial plan though. I very much wanted to bring her to office nursery but my mum was very determined on looking after Jaelyn. And of course with the thought that granny will definitely give good care to grandchild and so I gave in.

Little did I realised that my mum is intruding into our world and some issues can be quite sticky. Conflicts over what is the best way to care for a child, I can never out beat her with my reasons and research. Even simple thing like what to feed Jaelyn with is a major issue that I still can’t win over with. Furthermore I don’t get to see what she feeds Jaelyn with while I’m away at work. I sincerely believe a toddler even at 18months old, should not be given fries. I don’t even want her to get near junk food, not even until 5 years old! Jaelyn has tasted everything my mum eat including fries, Quaker oats (mind you! not nestle cereals ok!), bread with NUTELLA, chocolates etc. And I ended up with a hyper active daughter. Can you imagine a 18months old and my mum is still giving her milk every 2-3hrs? Because she didn’t want to stagger out her feeding time by giving her more oz per feeding when she was 3 months old. She insisted that Jaelyn is a small eater and must feed frequent. Aye… like other babies ok but my one cannot. It’s hard being caught in between her and my husband and sometimes even with myself. I must say, Vincent really gave in a lot because he doesn’t want to add on to my stress… Now I’m faced with a more challenging issue.

Finding a preschool for Jaelyn. Hmm… I didn’t give much thought to it until I see my colleague so anxiously finding preschool for her son. And I realised Jaelyn is just 2 weeks younger. Of course, there is debate going on in my mind whether is 2 years old too early to go school but I think it is also true that if she doesn’t go to a playgroup at least, she will be bumping around and hanging out with my mum at the NTUC and the aging neighbour there, watching the 4.30pm Taiwan drama-意难忘! OMG, this show was on TV since I was 6weeks pregnant and now my daughter is 18months and the show still never end…

So where to send Jaelyn for playgroup? I’m struggling to the point that I feel tormented. If I send her to childcare centre near my mum, my choices are limited. I shall reserve my comments on the 3 centres near my mum’s that I have yet to enquire. But a better choice would be that I drop her off at a centre near our house at Punggol before work and have Vincent to pick her up after his work. We will save on cab fares and also, Punggol and Seng Kang being new towns with many young parents and children, increase the number of choices we have over the childcare centre in these areas.

But I am thinking about my mum… If we send Jae to school, my mum would have nothing to do. Then what should I do about my mum? Ok… don’t suggest she will fetch Jaelyn, not at Punggol and not anywhere which is not within walking distance from her house. Yah… my mum not a “travelling” person. Also I’m worried if she can part with Jae. With Jae going to childcare also means I might have to cut her allowance due to increasing cost.

It’s really hard these days to provide for parents and still our own family. The cost of bringing up a child has increased so much compared to times when we were young. I mean, I don’t go to kindergarten until I was 5years old? And most of us went to PAP right? Who have heard of “Julia Gabriel”, “Brighton Montessori” or “Growing Up Gifted” when we were young. Of course I am not going to send Jae to prestigious, famous childcare due to affordability. But still, to send to a very normal neighbourhood childcare centre would mean additional $500 to $600+++ a month.

Oh man... what should I do??? Should I be so ruthless to take Jae away from my mum and send her to childcare? Jae is so small, she is already crying every morning when I drop her off at my mum’s. I think it will be even harder for me to drop her off at childcare centre. And which childcare to send to? Near Punggol or near my mum???

Argh…. So troubled. Someone please help me!