My Little Jaime at Week 30

15 Jan 2011, Saturday. I’m currently at KKH, Ward C32 Bed 16. Today is the 4th-5th day that I was admitted in the hospital.

On the 11 January 2011 (1.1.11 what a beautiful date), I went to my gynae for an unscheduled appointment as I have some blood stain and stomach pain. My intention was to just get a peace of mind as I did not suspect anything is wrong with me.

My gynae did a fast ultrasound scan and confirm that baby is doing fine and then did a virginal examination. Then he gave me a serious look and said, “Your cervix is open about 3cm, you got to be admitted right now!” I was in a state of shock! I’m only 30 weeks into my pregnancy. Little Jaime is not due till 20 March 2011.

He explained that I might have pre term labor. I got to quickly get to the hospital to stop/delay the labor and might need to stay warded for a month or 2. “Either you stay or the baby stay,” he said. He advised us to go KK, get the C ward and stay to delay the labor for as long as possible.

We rushed to KKH, totally not sure what to expect. Went to the woman 24 hours clinic, told the nurse I’m 30 weeks pregnant and in pain, suspect I’m in labor. I was put on the CTG to monitor baby’s heartbeat and my contraction. After about an hour, the doctor came and did some swap tests and said negative for water leak and pre term labor. Should be fine, admit for a night for observation. I was confused with the different report but hoping for the best.

Jaelyn was in a huge stage of shock that night. She didn’t have her dinner and my mum brought her to stay overnight at her house that day.

I felt really sad, this is so unexpected! There’s so many things I have planned to do before Jaime’s arrival. I’ve planned to take leave on the 1st Feb to celebrate in advance Jaelyn’s birthday in her school, then bring her for her first mani pedi. I ordered a Mommy and Me set dresses for us to wear on CNY and even planning to have a small birthday party for her on her actual birthday (which happens to be the 2nd day of CNY). Then thoughts like I have not taken out the baby’s clothes to wash, not yet descale the sterilizer, not yet cleared the baby cot and have not bought Jaime a new set of clothes to welcome her home. Tears kept flowing out of my eyes.

The next day, 12 Jan 2011, I was scheduled to go for ultrasound scan to check baby’s growth. I went for the scan at 11.30am and baby’s growth is normal. When I’m back to the ward for lunch, the nurse came and said doctor has arranged for me to go for a cervical scan at 2.30pm. This time round, the sonographer did not want to tell us the result. She said your doctor will explain to you.

Back to the ward, no news whatsoever. Doctor didn’t come. We waited till evening and finally asked the nurse when is the doctor coming. “Oh, the doctors here do their round only once a day at 7am, so they won’t come by till tomorrow.” She read my cervical scan and told me that the cervical length is short, so wait for doctor’s advise.

Cannot go home again… That night, Jaelyn came and when she was about to leave, her eyes filled with tears. “Mummy, you not going home with me? Why you want to sleep in the hospital?” My heart aches for what my princess is going through. 2nd night without mummy. 

13 Jan 2011, I woke up early to wait for the doctor to make his/her round. ( I stayed in a subsidized ward, not allow to choose doctor, will be attended by any doctor on duty) A nice lady doctor came by, explained to me that my cervical length is short so they need to give me 2 injections to help mature baby’s lungs so that baby can breathe better in case of a pre term labor. The injections have to be taken 12 hours apart – meaning cannot go home again.

After the doctor left, I cried. I’m not prepared for this at all. I have always thought Jaime will deliver on week 38, just like Jaelyn. I planned everything up to week 38. I told myself, Jaime will come out only week 38.

At 10am, the senior staff nurse came to give the first injection. She warned that it’s going to be very painful and IT IS!!! I almost wanted to scream my lungs out. That really causes me fear for the next jab at 10pm.

Jaelyn came in the evening to visit. I miss her so much! Both Vincent and I decided that she should get back to her normal routine and goes back to school. I wanted as little disruption in her routine as possible. I really feel for her, that she has to go through transition again and this one is so sudden that I cannot prepare her for.

Taken the 2nd jab at 10.25pm. Pain until I wanted to cry.

14 Jan 2011. TGIF. The doctor came, explained to me that cervical length is short and cervix is open so not keen to let me discharge. Ask me to stay to monitor.

My senior pastor – PASTOR KONG HEE came to pray for me! I felt so touched! Both me and baby Jaime is greatly blessed! Vincent and I felt so loved by the church, and God is really really good to us.

My bosses came to visit me and one of Henghwie’s cousin is a gynae here so he said he will drop by the next day to take a look.

15 Jan 2011. Dr. Wong came and explained to me my situation. It’s not pregnancy complication but more of a pre term labor condition. He thought can discharge me if its just the cervix open but realized that my cervical length is really short (0.7 to 0.9cm compared to average of 2cm). He too feel is better to monitor for a while and see if the cervix lining stop thinning before discharging me for home rest. He said best is to hold through week 34 at least but they really can’t tell where am I heading from here. It’s unpredictable and the risk is there.

I really miss my Jaelyn but at the same time I cannot risk Jaime.

God, I pray that you keep Jaime in until week 38. Everything is in Your control. In you, we are so ALIVE!